We had 16 months to prepare for the day my Sweetie died in April of last year. It had all crashed for us in late December of 2005, when what we thought was maybe a gall stone attack or something fixable turned into 6 hours later learning of 10 very large tumors in the Liver. We arrived back home and talked and cried half the night what was left of it...Then the next day we cried some more and she told me how she had messed up by not quitting smoking years before. She said she felt it would come very fast now, but she was just scared as is so understandable.
With several regiments of chemo and two clinical trials in which although hopeless she offered herself to be a test so that others might live someday she lasted a decent 16 months that we had together. We were home for Christmas when this bad new arrived for us, and then in about March of 06 between regiments of chemo, we returned to our place in paradise to spend about 3 weeks, before retreiving our motor home and heading back home for more treatments. Before that we had spent a few days at Mayo's for a second opinion, but there the Mayo's Doctor Jett did not have the silver bullet that we seeked...Instead he almost nailed the time of death when asked for the truth, as 40% chance of one year, and 20% chance of two, with most likely some where inbetween...we went back to our room and cried again and called the oncology in Indiana and said, "get it ready we are on our way back".
I will say my sweetie was indeed a trouper, as she leaned into everyone of these four different chemo's and the two clinical trials at IU med center....She sucked that stuff up like aspirin and never got very sick...She was just so hopeful that some how through this, that God would heal her and we would be able to go on. She was such a strong Christian woman, she would go to our church and stand before them, and tell how God was going to heal her in the end, and that no matter what this was all going to be a win win for her....
Her heart was totally broke one more time at IU med center when her doctor after the two clincial trials told her to not take any more chemo or trials at all but to just have the best quality of life she had left....It was a sad memorable day. We went to lunch and then headed home to face what was left for us. She was still actually looking very nice, and I was able to talk her into one more trip in our motor home in November of 06... I had been invited to attend the dedication of the new Musuem of the Marine Corps, that was to be dedicated on Nov. 10th of that year...It took some coaxing of, hey the President will be there sweetie we will get to see him and she finally agreed to go... I knew the trip would be good to get her mind off the inevitable that lie ahead. We made the trip it was a grand event that only the Marines can do. We had a wheel chair for sweetie, and when we arrived at security a Marine Infantry Captain in full dress blues bedecked in medals from both Afganistan, and two tours in Iraq, stepped forward to take the wheel chair from me... He said, "Sir you go through security but this fine lady is with me". "She does not go through security, we will be waiting for you after you pass through"...Well I passed through, and I tried to retreive sweetie from him... He said, "Sir I am fine, we will tour the area and acquaint you to the lay out, and then I will take you to your seating area"....I tried twice to get her back but only after almost an hour the Captain finally said, "Sir maybe I should return to my duties as a greeter"...I thanked him with a lump in my throat, but regret I did not get his ID...I did talk to him about his family and home state of South Dakota. He was off a South Dakota farm as was about a half dozen good men in my boot camp platoon.
We were not far from the President during his address at the dedication, maybe 200 feet and I know sweetie liked this opporunity so see President Bush in person...She admired him and his lovely wife Laura very much... In fact maybe about 3 months later, maybe 3 months before her passing, I told her, "that maybe the President had screwed up and was not doing things as well as we thought"....She let me know in quick order that, "He was a great President, and that some day the world would better appreciate the efforts of this man"...She felt him to be a Godly President as do I....I think she was totally correct and that I had experienced a weak moment....
I had hoped she would feel like the next day good enough to visit a southern plantation in Virginia, close to the Museum there at Quantico south of Wash DC....But she said, "no I want to go home now".... So we drove home on Nov. 11, 2006, both probably sensing or knowing that this would be our last trip together in the motor home.
OK this has been tough on me and we will talk more tomorrow.....
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